I was whisked off to a Ladies Retreat this past weekend after a very emotional day (more on that emotional day to come). Later I realized I had forgotten to pack pj’s and my contact case and solution, very important things. My sweet roommate ended up borrowing me pj bottoms and I was able to purchase the contact solution and case in the resort store.
The night we arrived and were sitting at our table of friends with desserts piling high on our plates, I was telling the story of how my husband got an offer on a job (again, more on that happy news soon). I was telling my Pastor’s wife the story because she has been such a friendly, concerned lady since they’ve come to our church nearly 3 years ago. She’s been asking so I thought I’d share the good news with her. However, when I was done, she asked me if I would share it with the group of Ladies at the retreat in the morning. I was a little hesitant, but figured I would, why not? Well, that didn’t leave me much time to plan what I would say to a room full of ladies that I admire. There was a lot involved in the different jobs he’d been offered and the timing and the way we went from anxiously awaiting and discouraged to happy all in one day. I didn’t know how I would tell it all straight so I wrote it all out that morning before our buffet breakfast. When I got up to share, I began to read and not having done it that way before, it felt unnatural so I started to just tell it, then I lost my place and when I wanted to read it again, I couldn’t. I felt like my words were jumbled and there was no emotion behind my words just nervous talk. Talk about humbling. Why couldn’t it just have been a quick, praise to God for Him finding my husband a job? One he wanted. Makes me realize even more why I so enjoy this cozy, little corner of my room where I can type and, now, I’m keeping my husband awake with the tapping of the keys so I’ll have to cut this short. The ladies were so gracious afterwards to thank me and want to know more. (:
God didn’t make me a public speaker. Sometimes, I wish he did because I admire those ladies that can get up and speak with such grace and composure. Saturday morning was humbling yes, but should I focus on this human frailty of mine, I will not grow as He intended me to do in allowing this into my life. There have been better “speeches” and this was not one of them. Thank you, Lord for again showing me another of my weaknesses so you can come and fill those “wounds” and be my everything.